Today I Ate...

Today I Ate...

11:00am: A smoothie in the magic bullet containing a banana, about 6 strawberries and orange juice.

2:45pm: A Hot Dog from the Gas Station on the West Side Highway and Canal St.

6:30pm: A salad from the salad bar at green cafe at Union Sq.

11:00pm: A grilled cheese on wheat bread and a box of cheez-it's

Kings of Pizza Island!

Kings of Pizza Island!  Welcome to Pizza Island.

The main appetizer will be a lay(lei, lai) with pizza and breadsticks stringed through for people to eat while they wear it.  Pizza Lay $7.99 Recession price.  

Chefs required to spit and spin fire.  Waitresses wear hula skirts, also required to spit and spin fire.

Map will show a pizza shaped island with a fake history of War and Pizza.

Free Delivery, even for island chains.  Will do whatever it takes to get you a pizza lay (lei, lai).  

Shit, fumble!  Flip out on him for not dropping on the ball.

Microwave can't make popcorn

I'm making Pizza!

People don't know how to drive in the snow!

I'm good at Bowling!  In your face!

Popcorn got burnt, even Cat-Dog wouldn't eat this shit.

Brett Farvt

Dog-Cat doesn't give a shit about Recession

I found this crazy old dog and blind cat yesterday.  I was cruising around, (like I do) and found this dog walking down the middle of the street like a bad ass.  I stopped the car, also in the middle of the street (like a bad ass) to see what was up.  Neither animal spoke english or had any ID.  But the Cat liked the trash outside this house, so I went up to the door only to find that no one was home.  After realizing the I couldn't take the Cat anywhere since cat's hate cars, and I didn't want to break up the cat-dog posse, I walked the Dog and Cat onto the porch and gave them water and told them to stay, which they did.  That way when the owners of the home came home, they'd find themselves the proud owners of a sweet rag-tag dog-cat posse.  And Dog-Cat doesn't give a shit about Recession.

Alright Recession...this means war

So Recession has made it's first move, and that is of course the taking away of Sparks!  That son of a bitch, I don't mind when you just talk about shit Recession, but when you take action and strike a huge part of my Pre-Gaming package, then that's bullshit.  If we all must make sacrifices, then my sacrifice would be that I will be less sober.  This makes it a lot harder without Sparks.  

I'm sure there's some sort of Bath Tub Sparks that you can make with mountain dew and drano, but I'm way to busy with my other experiments to waste my time with something that's already been invented.  

For Instance!  My "Time Travel Recipe" of 2 beers (any kind), 4 Red Bull Vodkas, and then Long Island Ice Teas til you hit the Space-Time Continuum.  

I just have to work on figuring out a Recipe to go Back in Time!  Then I can buy more Sparks and sell them on the Black Market when I drunkenly shoot back.  Of course I'm referring to the Future Black Market, which will basically be Future K-Marts.

Dear Blob

I thought our business was done, James said we had 50,000 hits, but he really meant 50 Million!  Thank God! John Runyon has his 200th start, 10 Sober.  Congrats.

Dunn doesn't know how to get back in the ring.

Matt is calling for a penalty, Adam just showed up, no poop.

I can't believe it! 40 Million hits!

That's right!  40 Million in under an hour!  Believe it!  

Holy Shit!  Sierra Mist!  Your stupid, nice stupid red balls for Christmas.  

Kev is not here.

Dunn just pissed himself again...out of his butt.